


I'll Do It

by Florian_Gray



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blow Jobs, Cute Ending, First Time Sex, Happy Ending, M/M, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Shameless Smut, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, basically Evan is a virgin, but its happy i swear, connor isnt, idk - Freeform, maybe? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 16:14:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19397722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florian_Gray/pseuds/Florian_Gray
Summary: Evan wonders around, ready to kill himself when he found Connor Murphey. Maybe he can mark off one last thing from his bucket list before he dies.





	I'll Do It

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! So I'm generally very nervous about even writing smuts, so posting it is crazy for me, but my friends told me it was really good. So here it is! Please leave comments and kudos! Any constructive criticism is welcome!!

Evan walked around aimlessly, which he never does so this was an odd night. It was dark out, and he really didn't have any place in mind to go. He didn't want to stay home, it was too quiet. Normally the silence soothed him, but today it just reminded him of how alone he is.  
  
He had his phone with the flashlight on, so he could see when there was a large space between street lamps. It was a chilly night, but that was to be expected in the fall. There was a slight breeze and the smell of coming rain. Evan hoped that it didn't rain until the next day, he wanted his last day to be nice out.  
  
He had skipped school that day, it was the first day of school, but he couldn't go. His Mom wouldn't know until after her shift, which wouldn't end until the morning. He had all the time he needed.  
  
He felt oddly calm walking down the street. He had left a note for his mom to find in his bedroom. It wasn't very long, but he got out what he needed to say.  
  
He stopped short when he came upon the old orchard. It had been closed for so long and Evan always wanted to go it but was too afraid to jump the fence. He shrugged to himself and walked over, carefully climbing and then dropping down. It wasn't like anyone would find him here. Plus it would be nice to be surrounded by trees for this.  
  
He walks around for a while before stopping short. On top of the hill, he could see a silhouette of someone. They wore and hoodie and had longer hair. Evan racked his brain for someone but couldn't figure out who it was. He looked around before starting to climb the hill.  
  
When he got to near the top he could see the figured better.  
  
"Connor?" Evan asked. Connor whipped his head around and jumped slightly. "It is you.” Evan mumbles.  
  
"What the fuck?" Connor asks, breathing quickly.  
  
"Hi? It's, I'm, Evan Hansen." Evan stutters going to hold his hand out before thinking better of it.  
  
"I know who you are, what the fuck are you doing here?" Connor asks.  
  
"I… I'm going to," Evan starts before shaking his head. "What are you doing here?" Evan asks, sitting down next to him and staring out at the trees.  
  
"Why the hell should I tell you?" Connor spits out. Evan shrugs and keeps his gaze ahead of him.  
  
They sit in silence neither moving an inch.  
  
"I think this is the calmest I've ever seen you," Connor says narrowing his eyes.  
  
"I'm going to kill myself," Evan says with a shrug. He doubts that Connor will care, maybe he'll even help him  
  
"What the fuck?!" Connor shouts.  
  
"I'm going to kill myself," Evan says slower than before.  
  
"I got that, why the fuck are you here, why are you telling me?" Connor asks.  
  
"I liked trees. Here seemed like a good place, and you're here, so I told you. You should leave, this probably won't be pretty." Evan says.  
  
"No, I'm staying," Connor says, crossing his arms.  
  
"Alright then. You know what's sad? I've never been kissed. I'll die a complete virgin. Funny thing is, I even have more choices since I'm bi." Evan laughs sadly.  
  
"That's the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard," Connor says.  
  
"I know." Evan mumbles.  
  
"I'll do it." Connor blurts out.  
  
Evan blinks a few times before turning towards Connor. "What?"  
  
"I'll kiss you, or have sex with you, whatever you want. But you have to do something in return." Connor says confidently.  
  
"And what will I have to do?" Evan asks narrowing his eyes.  
  
"Don't kill yourself tonight," Connor says.  
  
"I'll just it tomorrow then." Evan shrugs.  
  
"Fine, so how do you want this?" Connor says, scooting closer.  
  
Evan can feel his face heat up. "I, um, I do-don't know?" Evan stutters.  
  
Connor smirks and runs his hand from Evan's chest to his collar, pulling him into a kiss. Evan freezes but slowly relaxes. He flails his arms around for a bit, before putting one in Connor's cheek and the other on his thigh.  
  
Connor pulls back slowly and grins. "Not bad Hansen. How far do you want to go?"  
  
Evan pants before practically melting. He leans closer to Connor and softly whispers in his ear, "all the way. I want you to fuck me." He doesn't know where this confidence comes from, maybe it's because he won't have to live with the fact that he did any of this.  
  
Connor growls before pulling Evan into his lap, going straight for his neck. He slides his hands under Evan's shirt causing him to shiver. Evan lets out a soft moan when Connor nips at his neck, jerking his hips.  
  
Connor leans back so he can kiss Evan again, who gladly opens his mouth when Connor swipes his tongue across his bottom lip. Connor uses his arm to slowly lay them on the ground. He leans up and his breath hitches.  
  
"You're beautiful," Connor mumbles.  
  
Evan's face turns a deep red as he stares up at Connor, his lips are plump and eyes wide. "So are you, now kiss me," Evan demands. Connor chuckles before leaning down to kiss Evan.  
  
It quickly becomes more heated, causing Evan to let out small moans, and jerking his hips up. Connor sits up only briefly to pull off his hoodie and shirt and help Evan pull of his. The grass tickles his back, but he doesn't complain.  
  
Connor is skinny, skinny enough to see his ribs. Evan really hopes Connor isn't starving himself. He himself has lost weight since he wouldn't order food, but he still had some pudge. Connor smiles and moves his hand down Evan's chest. He leans down and trails kisses down towards his pants. Evan whines and squirms, but Connor keeps his hips still.  
  
He uses his other hand to slowly pull down Evan's pants.  
  
"Please," Evan whimpers when the cold air hits him.  
  
"Hmm, what do you want?" Connor asks, rubbing his through his boxers.  
  
Evan mumbles something that sounds like gibberish.  
  
"Tell me what you want," Connor commands.  
  
"Fucking, suck me, please." Evan whines.  
  
Connor smiles and pulls down Evan's boxers. Connor takes a hold of his cock and slowly pumps it, sliding his thumb around the head. Evan whimpers, arching his back.  
  
"God, fuck." Evan moans.  
  
Connor smirks before leaning down and licking under from the base to the tip. Evan shutters and grips Connor's hair and the grass.  
  
Connor takes him into his mouth and bobs his head once. Evan moans and pulls Connor's hair making him moan around Evan.  
  
"Faster, God please," Evan says, arching his back. Connor bobs his head quickly, taking in as much as he can and using his hand for what he can't.  
  
"Fuck, I'm gonna, Connor I need," Evan rambles tensing.  
  
Connor goes as deep as he can before swallowing around him. Evan practically screams and shutters, coming in Connor's mouth. Connor swallows before pulling off with a pop.  
  
Evan lies on the grass panting, his eyes closed and cheeks red. Connor smiles at the sight below him. It takes Evan a minute to finally slow his breathing. He opens his eyes and stares up at the stars before turning to Connor.  
  
"That was… amazing, do you, um do you need help?" Evan asks, looking at Connor's tight jeans.  
  
"I can do it, just, watch me?" Connor asks. Evan nods his head quickly and watches as Connor pulls his pants and boxers down in one fluid movement.  
  
How anyone could be so beautiful was beyond Evan. He watches as Connor took himself in his hands and stroked himself, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.  
  
"Evan," Connor moans, moving quicker. He opens his eyes and stares at Evan, watching his reaction.  
  
"Fuck," Connor mumbles. Evan fidgets in his spot before scooting over to kiss down Connor's neck.  
  
"I'm close. Pull my hair." Connor begs. Evan slowly starts at the base of his head and moves his hand up, collecting hair. When he gets to the top he grips his hair and yanks it back.  
  
"Come for me," Evan demands. Connor whimpers and comes, closing his eyes. Once he's spent he falls against Evan, who gladly holds him.  
  
"You're… breathtaking." Evan says after they both have calmed down.  
  
"So are you," Connor says, smiling at him.  
  
"Can we… can we do this again?" Evan asks, blushing.  
  
"If you don't kill yourself I will gladly fuck you every night," Connor says, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.  
  
"I look forward to it." Evan smiles.

  
  
Epilogue  
  
Evan curls up beside Connor, grinning like a wild man.  
  
"I love you so much," Evan says, looking over at him.  
  
"Aww, that's adorable," Connor smirks.  
  
"Babe we're married," Evan says, rolling his eyes.  
  
They lay there for a minute before Evan breaks the silence. "It's been 7 years since that night. I'm so glad I didn't kill myself." Evan says.  
  
Connor pulls him closer, holding him tightly. "Me too."  
  
"Want to go to the park tomorrow? We can have a picnic." Evan says smiling softly.  
  
"Anything you want," Connor mumbles, placing a kiss on top of Evan's hair.  
  
"I love you," Evan mumbles before yawning.  
  
"I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please leave a comment or kudo, they keep me alive.


End file.
